Saturday, May 30, 2009

"That which love begins, God alone can finish." -Victor Hugo

We celebrated our anniversary by going out to Gloria's Little Italy. Delicious and much better than the pizza we home...with my mom and brother for our last anniversary (we had just gotten home the day before from the hospital with Henry!)

*First appearance as husband and wife*

As I've thought about what to say in this post about Johann and I celebrating two years of marriage so many different thoughts have come to mind. Now this may seem to be an odd way to explain how I feel about the past two years of our life together, but just go with it, it'll come together, I promise:
Last semester while studying women's history, so many of the women who became leaders of different women's movements noted that they had never understood how bad things could be for women because they were some of the "lucky ones" who had husbands that allowed them the freedom they needed to grow. Margaret Fuller, a famous female transcendentalist explained ideal marriage as two people coming together to work at allowing each other to have moments of realization, epiphanies of the divine; sister Hinckley explained it simply and beautifully when she said that her husband had "given her wings to fly."
I suppose I use to think that all of these men were passive and simply allowed their wives to do what they wanted so long as it didn't interfere, kind of a Cinderella syndrome of, "Oh honey, you can go to the ball so long as you make sure the kids are fed, in bed and the dishes are done." It wasn't until we had Henry and I continued in school that I realized what kind of man it takes to "allow" women to be the lucky ones, the ones to experience epiphanies of the divine and to fly and I am so grateful to be able to say that I married that kind of man.
Not only was Johann my bulwark in getting through school with Henry, but I don't know that there was anyone more proud of my desire to stick it through even when people disparaged my choice to continue my education while having a child. There has been nothing passive about Johann's role in my ability to continue with what I so desired; the bathing, feeding, playing, supporting and loving were all tantamount to anything I can call a success in life. I hope to be able to do for him these years in grad school what he has done for me.
Central to his behavior I know has been his love for me and the view we share of what a marriage is. I hope to share so many more anniversaries together and to continue to work towards helping each other become everything our Father in Heaven has in mind. Happy anniversary my dear, sweet husband.


Elise said...

Happy Anniversary!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about marriage. It is amazing what a supportive spouse can do. I have the support, I just wish I had a better perspective of where I want to fly. That will come.

When do you officially move to California?

Maren said...

I recognize those doors, and have a picture walking up those stairs just like yours... :) Since I also do women's studies I think about this too...I'm so grateful to be one of the "lucky ones". We're probably going to have a baby while I'm in grad school and I already know that Patrick is going to be the biggest support and make sure I achieve my dreams. Happy anniversary!

Ashby Family said...

Such a sweet post. Love it. I'd never thought about it like that. I'm so glad you have Johan and that men like him are out there.